The crucifixion of the ego has often been mentioned in articles and comments on this blog, also in the previous article, The Harvest is large, but the workers are few: Matthew 9:35-38 by Raymond Phelan, where it gave rise to a very interesting discussion in the comments. These showed that there are indeed many ways to look at this concept and in my view none of them is necessarily more (or less) true than another. Much depends on our personal feelings in this matter. If our personal experience has been negative, for instance because of the way we were taught about the crucifixion of Jesus in church, then it is very difficult to feel positive about the concept of crucifixion as such. Let alone about its use for our process of gaining higher conscious awareness. If, however, you have learned to look at crucifixion from the perspective of tremendous Love, as I have when I was a child, then you look at it from a different perspective. Then it shows us a path which we all can follow.
The cross itself is an important symbol that is not restricted to Christianity only. We find it in many different traditions in different forms and it can be interpreted in different ways and even on different levels. The cross, and crucifixion as well, can not only be interpreted on a personal level but even on a galactic level, as Christine Hoeflich showed us in a comment to Raymond’s recent article:
- “…. the ego has been being crucified for ages already, through us being “veiled,” or shielded from being aware of the Earth Experiment (as planned by the collective Higher Self). The collective Higher Self planned / engineered this Earth experience for the noble purpose of humanity gaining relatively fast spiritual and emotional growth, through difficult firsthand, direct experiences. The harder the experience, the faster the growth, was the reason. This is what I came to understand, after I connected to my higher self in meditation and followed through with its guidance.
- Furthermore, this “crucifying” is clearly shown when one looks at the astronomy of this planet with respect to the larger galaxy, at this exact point in time! Things are at a tipping point right now and the astronomy shows it clearly (which I show in my book on the spiritual awakening process).
- Plus: The above is good news. The ego going off on its own, being disobedient just because it felt like it, and then having to be brought back into control, well that’s not necessarily such good news. But if the collective higher self (God) had planned this fall in consciousness, for the noble purpose of achieving the fastest path to spiritual growth, well that’s real good news, isn’t it? It sheds new light on humanity, no?”
In our comments Christine and I have sometimes seemingly disagreed about the meaning of the crucifixion of the ego but I believe that this really only concerns our different subjective perspectives of the matter but not its deeper meaning. I fully agree with how she described the Earth Experiment (see the first italicized section of my quote). As I do with the second italicized section. The only thing that I do see different is the idea of a disobedient ego going off on its own.
I do not interpret the concept of an ego necessarily as negative but see it as a force inside us that guides us through the whole process of gaining higher spiritual awareness. I see this process as a cycle in three phases:
- First a descent or involution into the world of matter, which is a dream world, not a real world but a world of illusion that could also be described as a game. A game in which we are players on a playing field of a huge range of emotions. These emotions could be seen as tools, not necessarily as something negative in itself.
- Secondly our stay in that world and our working our way through it, becoming master of our emotions instead of being controlled by them.
- And finally our ascension or evolution out of this world again, with the conscious awareness we have gained through this process.
Within this process I see the ego as the Life Force in us, a force which temporarily falls asleep at the bottom of the cycle but now is waking up again, as we have reached and are passing the turning point of the Ages. When I look at it from the viewpoint of the translation of the Latin word ego – which means I – then I could see it as a spark of the I Am that has descended in us and with us and because of that has also fallen asleep temporarily. In the lower reaches of the cycle, when it is asleep, this force has become unaware of its task and lets the emotions get out of control.
That is the phase in which we become the slaves of our emotions, which in the Bible is described in the story about the Hebrews being slaves in Egypt, where the pharaoh symbolizes the absolute power of the ego in its fallen state. It is also the phase which gives us the opportunity to explore the darkest extremities and gain even more growth, provided we manage to climb out of the pit again. The Bible shows that we will receive help in doing this, once we ask for that help – God delivers the Hebrews from Egypt, the total control of our emotions is broken – but we will have to complete the process ourselves, during our journey through the desert with all its challenges. Only then we can enter the Promised Land, Canaan, numerical value 190, (1), as opposed to Egypt, Mitsrayim, numerical value 380, (2). Or the world of the original Oneness (1), by leaving the slavery in the world of duality (2).
Just like Christine I am of the opinion that our descending into this illusional world of matter was planned by God in order to have us ‘gain relatively fast spiritual and emotional growth, through difficult firsthand, direct experiences. The harder the experience, the faster the growth, was the reason,’ as she put it. I look at these hard experiences as ingredients of the crucifixion process, because only when we deal with them in the right way we will gain this higher conscious awareness. If we do not, we will just suffer.
In Genesis 1 we read that it was God who created the world of duality. Already the first word of the Bible, Bereshit in Hebrew, which means ‘in the beginning’, points to that. It is written with a very big Bet, which is not just a letter but also the number 2. By its bigger size this 2 points to the fact that God created duality, symbolized by the opposites of heaven and earth, light and darkness, good and evil and all other opposites that follow in the story. Or in other words, God creates imbalance. During the journey through this world of imbalance we are free to imagine ourselves as separate from God, and separate from so-called others and of different species, in order to play this game in the realm of emotions to its fullest extent, and to experience everything that we can possibly imagine in it, as this game also includes the concepts of time and space, of karma and reincarnation. Of recurring cycles within the greater cycles of 2000 and 26.000 years of (the Ages of) the Zodiac that Christine already mentioned. Of course guidance is available, if we are willing listen.
The creation of duality and imbalance is the beginning of the cycle of three phases that I described above. The way to ascend out of this illusional world again is the process that I call the crucifixion of the ego, or the way of the cross.
There are many ways to interpret the symbol of the cross. The most simple cross is the cross with four arms of equal length, which can be seen as total balance. Also balance between spirit (vertical) and matter (horizontal). The creation of this world of matter as a means to gain spiritual growth and conscious awareness was only possible by introducing opposites and destroying the original balance. It was the start of a descent into this world and the beginning of the game, of the first phase of the cycle. After that first phase came our stay in that world of matter, where gradually our emotions got a grip on us, which made us fall asleep. But now the time of awakening has come for us, and the time to rise up out of that world of illusion again and to regain control over our emotions, taking with us all the conscious awareness we gain by successfully completing this game. In order to accomplish that we have to return to and re-create the original balance of this cross. The act of restoring this balance is what the crucifying of our ego is all about.
When I base my interpretation on the Hebrew word for cross and its numerology, I reach the same conclusion, using different images. Cross is tselav, 90-30-2, in Hebrew. To begin with this can be read as tsel–2, which means shadow of the two, or world of duality (Egypt was another symbol for this world). In that case the cross means our life in this world of duality, which includes our every-day-world with all its ups and downs but also all the suffering through the natural and other disasters, wars and whatever we collectively brought on to ourselves during our stay in this world. Again the aim of our stay in this world is to gain spiritual and emotional growth. Within this image we do this by learning to overcome our obstacles in a loving way, by sharing with and caring for others. By turning bitter experiences into diamonds as it were – which after all do only come into existence under enormous pressure – by approaching everything always from a loving perspective and by looking for a way to turn everything in life into something meaningful and beautiful.
What this crucifying process does NOT mean is a never-ending struggle with all sorts of hardships in life which we will never be able to master on our own. On the contrary, by taking a positive perspective and positive action we may be able to create miracles.
And then, in the end, when we finally have become master of our emotions and act only from the perspective of love, we will discover that there is a much more beautiful way to describe this cross, this way through the world of duality! In the end this cross, tselav, 90-30-2, will prove to be 90–lev, the road leading to the birth (90, after a difficult process), of the heart (lev, 30-2). It will prove to be the way to restore our ego to its original purpose. And the road to our transformation to Love incarnate.